r@cH’s !Y!y n@m3

there’s juz too much memory here.. so i’ve decided to MOVE.. to a better place of course.. toodles peeps!!
         

Was browsing thru a few other blogs this afternoon.. blogs which talked about relationships.. yeah.. the type where u change ur status to "in a relationship" in ur friendster account.. this was somethin which i have yearned for.. somethin which i was searching for all my life (not the changing status part larh u doink!)       

                           
it has alwiz been my desire to find somebody whom you could trust ur heart with.. someone whom u know dat u could alwiz alwiz lean on.. someone who would accept all ur flaws (yes.. even ur nose diggin habit where u fling ur booger all over his car like a machine gun..).. someone whom u see spending ur whole life with (yes.. i’m dat "lou tou" @ old sand @ old fashion.. coz u see.. wat’s the point of bein in a relationship if u don’t foresee a future with dat particular person? like wat pastor steven said.. y be in a relationship if u don plan to marry them?? u’re only plannin for a breakup..)
               
         

            
this eventually leads to wat Ching n i talked about some time ago.. somehow ppl tend to think dat once you start dating.. or even when a guy and a gal go out together.. u’re considered as a couple.. as in the "bf gf" type of couple.. this explain the strange looks i get whenever i go out wif a guy fren.. or even *gasp* my brother.. which eventually leads to the question dat never fails.. "ur boyfren arh?" somehow i prefer this approach.. where a boy and a gal would go out on occasional dates.. and there’ll come a day where they would decide to go "steady" in their relationship.. and dat’s where they’re considered as a couple..
                     

                         
now, here’s the essense of this post.. for the past few weeks.. there’s this tiny weeny thing dat was embedded in my heart.. somethin which was bothering me.. where i ended up sleeping at 3 or 4 every single nite.. assignments, quizzes and midterms aside.. and the thing was.. "the question WHY.." i’ve tried every means to not think or talk about it.. but like a tiny pebble stuck in my shoe.. even thou it didn’t matter much.. BUT IT WAS STILL THERE..
         

                     
it was until today dat i’ve finally realised.. the thing dat was missing between us was God.. and the next thing which hit me hard on my head was that.. God is NOT in the center of my life.. How is dat even possible?? the first dance we’re doin for this sat’s youth concert is to the song "call to worship".. how is dat even possible when He is not in control? i would be no different from a hypocrite.. wat happened to the ME who was once so passionate and on fire for Christ? guess i was too engrossed with other stuff and hence neglected Him..
         

            
there were even times where i’ve compromised.. where i was on the verge to receive whatever dat came knocking on my door.. man.. u cannot believe how "enlightened" i feel now.. haha.. it’s juz funny as to how far He would go to look for a sheep dat was lost.. well.. i guess it’s time for me to walk back into the light.. into His embrace.. i shall compromise no more.. bring it on babeh!!

Blessed Be Your Name (I like! =P)
by Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

ok.. since i’m VELI THE BZ.. wan to dig nose oso no time.. i’m gonna make this short..

here goes..

i almost died today.. twice!!!

one almost made me die out of embaressment.. thanx to our dear kuching..

the other one.. well.. i was thisssssss closeeeeee to dying.. out of humiliation.. but there was a pinch of excitement added into it..

one of which i’m gonna tell you.. (the first one..)

the other one.. nah.. coz this thing prob wouldn’t last.. *grin*

Last sunday.. a private number called halfway thru dance practice.. As i was about to answer it.. the line was cut off.. thinkin dat it might prob be somebody from the HELP office (don ask me why.. prob coz all of the no numbers i get come from there..), i juz let it be and continued with practice..

Then later on.. Kuching called sayin dat some fitness centre guy called askin if she was interested in this 7 day free trial thingy.. apparently LS gave him our numbers.. To cut the long story short.. we decided to go check it out.. and we were suppose to meet this fella 3pm today..

          
            
Due to time constraint, our appointment was shifted to 2pm.. So after english class.. Ching and i proudly walked up the steps of the building which led to FITNESS FIRST.. As we got to the counter..
         
                
Receptionist (let’s call him B)
       
               
Kuching: Hi! we’re here to see John for the seven days free trial gym pass..
          
B: Umm.. Which John? (puzzled look)
          
Kuching: We don’t know.. Just John I guess.. We’ve actually made an appointment..
            
B: ok.. i’m not sure which John u’re talking about.. But i’m goin to gif u the pass.. *proceeds to take out a record for us to put down our details* Can i have your names plz..
            
Kuching: Umm.. it’s ok.. coz we’ve actually made an appointment to meet John up at 2pm..
         
B: John.. R u sure his name is John?? *proceed to name a few names*
             
R: Oh! Gif him John’s telephone number..   
         
Kuching: I have his phone number though.. Perhaps you could check it up..
             
            
B types in John’s hp number into his hp and proceed to call.. but alas!! even dat number was not in his hp.. after remembering wat FM said (somethin bout there is no HOT guys in fitness first except for this botak fella ) and sensing that something wasn’t quite rite.. something cropped up into my head..
            
            
CRAP!! WAT IF IT’S NOT FITNESS FIRST BUT IT’S CELEBRITY FITNESS INSTEAD?? OMG OMG OMG..
            
             
when i told Ching dat.. B smiled.. and Ching quickly rushed outside to gif John a call.. while i gestured to B to hold on.. the other gal who was there was smiling too.. They must be thinking.. dang!! these 2 gals MUST BE DAMN DESPERATE to work out.. *SWEAT* And GUESS WAT??!!! JOHN IS FROM CELEBRITY FITNESS!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. *DOUBLE SWEAT*
          
            
After finding out.. i had every mind to walk away.. but Ching insisted dat it wasn’t dat good to juz walk away.. so we went back.. and told B dat John is from CELEBRITY FITNESS.. THE BESTEST THING is.. We got a free trial pass from FITNESS FIRST as well.. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.. *TRIPPLE SWEAT*   
         
 
Moral of the story: Blur people haf their day too!! LOL..

THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING.. THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING..
          
                      
warning: yes.. this is another one of my never-ending rambling post.. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED..
         
 
OK.. so!! the shower tap broke off when i tried to turn it off.. And the water wouldn’t stop flowing.. NON STOP!! it took me awhile to figure out dat the whole thing could be turned off by just shutting down the main pipeline.. was panicking like a chicken in the oven (imagine wat would happen if it was alive).. Serves me rite for bathing at 1 in the morning.. *Wonder wat my maid’s reaction would be when she finds out about it 1st thing in the morning..* Had to shower downstairs as the light in my own bathroom has DIEDED..
            
         
n then.. thinking dat things could not haf been worst.. i juz got a msg sayin dat i’ve been rejected for an experiment dat i’ve signed up for.. b’coz they had enuf ppl.. stupid stupid stupid.. i knew dat i should haf replied that email when i received it last week.. serves me rite for procastinating.. i know.. some of u may ask.. hey.. so wat’s da big deal?? it’s only a freakin experiment.. well! let me tell u wat.. it’s like.. how often do u get a chance to be an experimenter? u’ll get to learn things for ur future references as well as extra credits for it.. how cool is dat??
            
                         
okok.. dat’s juz bullshit..
                
                            
it’s juz b’coz i managed to find somethin which i could fit into my oh-so-pack schedule.. and everythin fitted perfectly.. *MID TERM IS NEXT WEEK!!!!* HECK!! i’ve even canceled some plans b’coz of this.. now i haf to start hunting for another experiment.. and dat is like soooo impossible.. coz 80% of the psych students are FEMALES (there might be more).. *so if u’re thinking.. YES!! HELP PSYCH is the best place u want to be if u want to bask in the splendor of overflowing female auras* n most of the experiments require freshies (PY101 students) who are naive so that they could be "MILDLY DECEIVED".. which means.. fewer slots for not-so-gullible ppl like me..
                
            
okok.. dat’s bullshit too..
             
            
FACT IS.. I’ve BEEN REJECTED!! could u belief it!! REJECTED!!! R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D!!! n i was sooooooo on the list ok.. not the waiting list.. cbcbcbcb.. not like this is the 1st thou..
         
          
WORST STILL!! got back my results for my substance quiz.. yes.. the one which i only studied 10 minutes before because i tot dat it would be held the following week.. needless to say.. even a B seems so out of reach now.. coz i juz found out dat we’re required to do a 7 minutes presentation each on our topic.. and there are 2 other presentations for 2 other subjects which i’m required to do this sem.. I-CAN-NEVER-SPEAK-IN-PUBLIC.. can’t they just understand dat some ppl may be just.. INTROVERTS?? the last presentation i did last sem was a disaster.. imagine wat would happen when i have to take public speakin as 1 of my subject next year (it’s a must!).. Y oh Y did i choose psychology?? WHY??!!!
          
          
*burning wif furiousity*
      
            
oooh.. LOOK!! the colour function is back!! like.. FINALLY!! muahaha.. don’t u juz love purple fonts?? i do i do i do i do i do.. *grins* n yes.. in case u’re wondering.. i have multiple personality disorder..

it’s 4.25 am.. gotta wake up at 7.. JUZ.. CAN’T.. SLEEP..

"the truth hurts.."

even thou this phrase has been around and about for as long as i could remember.. it took me 20 years to finally discover it’s true meaning.. and danG!! it friggin hurts..

juz when i pushed dat piece of rock aside.. heck! i even saw the sun shining down on me again.. BUT then down came a whole load of em.. crushin me, pinning me to the ground.. juz like an avalanche.. in fact, this time i feel helpless.. motionless..

many times i’ve told myself.. hey Rach.. u gotta be strong!! u don want to be like those pathetic self pity-fying ppl who keeps blaming things onto their past whenever things go wrong, don’t u?? maybe dat’s y i neva tell ppl how i feel.. in fact, i’m pretty much.. MUTED.. stupid huh? i know.. well.. this proves dat as much as i beg to differ, i’m no different from them.. coz here i am.. ranting about this pile of shit which should haf been over.. and i mean SO OVER..

i even thought dat i was rite at first.. well.. i was WRONG.. as much as i hate to admit it.. but dat was pretty much the truth.. even the evidence was placed rite in front of my nose.. wat more could i ask for??

on the other note, it’s funny how i keep telling my fren dat she should get a grasp of her life coz she definitely deserve something better.. and i still think so.. whereas, here i am holding on to somethin dat wasn’t even mine.. maybe it’s b’coz i want to c ppl happy.. even when i’m not feeling fantastic myself.. but i do care.. i really do..

Even thou many a time i tried to commit this whole thing to the Lord.. but it never worked.. as i never could surrender totally to Him.. maybe it is due to my hard headedness.. in fact, i can be as stubborn as a bull.. under certain circumstances dat is..

i guess it’s time to flip the page.. even thou i might haf to do it all by myself..

Had the privilege of goin to bakerzin @ 1U for lunch today.. the ambience was wonderfull.. loved the setting and the unique plates.. (twas shaped like a triangle.. cept dat the sides were curved outwards..) service was quite good.. but above all.. the food was delicious!!

We ordered seafood fried rice.. a bacon and omelet sandwich i think.. then apple strudels for dessert.. I find their menu a lil confusing at first.. wat i tot were page numbers turned out to be their prices!! The serving was juz enuf.. i gotta say.. the seafood fried rice.. as ordinary as it may sound.. was the best of all.. the prawns, mussels, squid and cray fish were so FRESH, i even found some sand in them (hah! juz kidding..) so were the greens (way fresher compared to the ones found in any supermarket).. and the rice was the tastiest rice i’ve eva tasted.. not ur average nasi goreng.. every bite u take is an absolute mind blowing experience!! LOLerz.. it’s definitely worth every penny.. the smell and sight alone is enuf to wow u off ur feet! even before i started digging in i vowed to commit some time every week juz to sit down there and savour the food plus surrounding.. *and I tot dat they only serve yummy cakes..* (and i mean YUMMY!! even got 5 diff types of cakes for mum on mother’s day..)

the only turn off is dat their prices are rather steep.. but wat we paid today was worth it.. as we did not splurge on the beverages.. SIDES, seafood fried rice and bacon & omelet sandwich is ok.. but seafood fried rice and bacon & omelet AND apple strudels DO NOT go together..

note: this may seem like a failed attempt in doing a food review.. BUT if i was good i would haf been a food columnist by now.. but wat matters most is dat we were BLOATED and very very CONTENTED.. don belief me.. go c for urself..

oh ya, forgot to bring my camoolah.. so tak ada pics.. soooo.. pai seh larh.. haha.. sides, i think i would be too eager to dig in than to spend some precious seconds snapping away.. c’est simply magnifique!!

one thing i can neva neva get enuf of.. 5 words sums it all.. sugar spice and everything nice!!

I’ve got confession to make.. and yeah.. it’s a BIG HUGE ONE.. one dat i have not told nebody in my whole entire life.. the hatred within me haf grown ever since the whole bloody incident which happened somewhere last year.. it would not even be a surprise if i start goin around bashing them.. BUT if u expect me to be emofied.. HAH!! FAT CHANCE!! 

Ok, here goes.. i damn friggin hate motorcyclist!!!! esp ppl of a certain race.. and no.. i’m not a racist.. i have frens of every single race.. it’s juz dat every single one of the fat asses which i met seemed to be of dat race (the motorcyclists dat is..).. and yes!! i have EVERYTHING against them.. esp those who think dat they’re FREAKIN righteous.. and dat the whole bloody road of peejay belongs to their grandfather.. I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM!!  to the extend dat every single chromosome inside me screams "STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKS!!!! GO TERRORIZE OTHER PPLS LIVES AND LEAVE ME ALONE.. IF U FRIGGIN WISH TO DIE.. GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO KNOCK YOU DOWN AND MAY YOU REST IN PEACE.."

my final words.. *words haf been removed due to the extreme furiousity state i was in juz now..*     

This is utter BULLSHIT!!! does americans have no taste at all?? I REPEAT.. DOES AMERICANS HAVE NO TASTE AT ALL??!! How could they let CHRIS DAUGHTRY go?? wat the HECK is wrong with them?? don tell me dat all of chris’s fans’s phones mysteriously disappeared yesterday when they should be sitting down.. VOTING!! okok.. maybe they were over confident dat he would get into the finals eventually and hence stopped voting.. (we’re tokking about bystander effect here..) but WAT THE CRAP! He’s like THE BESTEST OK.. EVA!! next to Elliot dat is.. don’t belief me.. go download his videos! i gotta say.. yesterday’s "suspicious minds" was AWESOME!! there’s no need to elaborate watsoever to tell you how GOOD he is.. b’coz he IS! If you disagree with me.. LEAVE!! coz i don need you here.. Besides, I BITE!!!

You know wat?? after days of sleepless nites plus hours spent in front of my lap top doin practically nothin.. (unless u count playin neopets and isketch as somethin.. call me childish for all i care.. wat’s a gal to do when she’s got all the time to waste and no money to spare even thou she’s surrounded by SHOPPING MALLS?? of course i’d choose retail therapy anyday, silly!) i realized that there are 2 choices i could make..

a) lock myself in my room with Kelly Clarkson’s <behind these hazel’s eyes> playing in my head over and over again.. while whimper-ing, wail-ing and holler-ing like a freakin piece of shit whilst drowning myself in self pity.. thinkin dat the whole friggin world is against me.. HECK! they might even have this HUGE conspiracy to suck out all the vonderfull glorious joy i have in me.. which they actually succeeded for the past few days.. sides, there were also stuff i wished i told YOU but i don’t think it’ll matter nemore.. and i’ve been regretting ever since..

OR

b) be grateful dat our paths crossed and cherish the vonderfull moments we had.. even thou the moments spent were scarce.. and feelings were hurt.. but wat the heck! it was a mutual agreement.. sides, when we got this ball-a-rolling, both of us knew dat it wouldn’t be easy.. it was a miracle that we got this far with the communications we had.. (communi.. wat?) I find it pretty ironic coz YOU were the 1 standing by my side all along.. yeah.. even thou those bloody scars would be there.. but i’ve got God with me!! and oh, not to forget mon amis and amies.. merci beacoup yall.. like the song says "you give and take away.. you give and take away.." i’ll continue to stand strong..

well.. i guess the path i chose is pretty obvious, non?? Bring it on babeh! AWAKEN THE DAWN!! (Psalms 108)